I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
