I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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