he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
