so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
