Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
