turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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