I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
