I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
