why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
