u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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