3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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