So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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