I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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