I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
