I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
