Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
