big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
