Dual....:-)
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
