oh god the rape fog is back!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize