that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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