K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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