I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
