DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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