what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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