he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
