I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
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