Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
