So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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