So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We are all done wearing pants today
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
