If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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