Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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