yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
