Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
