Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
