I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
