its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
