I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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