I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
