his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
