Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
