gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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