I'm jealous of your bromance
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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