halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
as a side note pls kill me
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