so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
