Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize