it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
