Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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