i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
