He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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