i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My cat gives me a boner
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
