yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
