One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
