Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
