Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
