Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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