Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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