You're my little dorito
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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