So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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