one two three fourrrrnication!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
