Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
there is puke in my bra ... again
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