moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
