I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
home. puking in laundry basket.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
