And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
