do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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