i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
