I wish my penis had an off switch
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize