3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
