Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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