I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
