you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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