I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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