I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well you can't waste a boner
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize