Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
