hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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