I hate your face
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
