So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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