at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
