I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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